One of the side effects of taking Venlafaxine as an anti-depressant is the experience of vivid dreams or nightmares. Put it this way – take your worst insecurity, and then make that become real. The vivid nature of the dreams were overwhelming. When I first began taking the medications, my then partner would have to hold me together as I screamed in terror.
But, on the occasion, you get this extremely amazing dream that just feels as though its been born out the most hidden and knowing part of your subconscious. Of all, the one that stays most in my memory, could easily be converted into a sci-fi novel, should I ever find the words that could explain the complexity of what I saw.
In brief – imagine the most beautiful view you have ever seen, and imagine you could see the tiny specific details of it all, be able to zoom in and out. Now put that in the context of an inexplicable alien environment, where nothing at all makes sense, and yet it all fits together perfectly.
Whenever I think of that dream, everything slowly fits together again. The horror of it all, and thus its beauty. The inexplicable, realised. How can anyone have rationality after seeing that, I know not. Because in amongst that true chaos of order, rationale becomes incomprehensible.
So it turns out there is an upside to the drug that keeps me alive, makes me put on weight, causes hypnic jerks, exhausts me, makes it almost impossible to get up in the morning, and which can kill me if I miss a dose. There are always advantages, no matter how small.